Thursday, 19 February 2009

Hi all, i'm sorry it's been a while but i've been quite ill. You remember that i was ill before xmas? Well, this made that seem like a walk in the park. I've had another chest infection but this time it's been so bad that i had to take steroids and anti biotics together. The doc has seen me and at one point wanted me to go into hospital which i really didn't want to and it was only my promises of absolute rest and doing nothing that kept me home. If i'm no better by tomorrow i have to go back but that's not going to happen. I've been a good girl for the most part, poorLlittle Miss R has missed out on a couple of days out 'cos i've not been well enough to take her. Master B is at his daddys again so luckily for him he's had fun. Luckily we've has her friend Sophie here for two nights sleepover so that's kept her a bit entertained. I feel bad when the kids're stuck in when i'm ill but there was really no way i could've gone out, i just didn't have the strength. She's been such a good girl for me, it makes such a difference.
One thing that has made me feel sad, as many of you who live in dear old Blighty will know about, is the sad news about Jade Goody. Such a terrible, terrible tragedy, a young mam of 27 dying of cancer, heartbreaking. I know that she isn't to everyones taste but if you knew about her background then it would go a long way in explaining her loud, brash, self depreciating behaviour. This is a girl who knew her parents were both drug addicts by the age of five and has spent her entire life being the carer in practically every relationship she's had ever since. i cannot imagine what she's going through right now,knowing she's leaving her two precious sons behind her as she heads off alone towards her next journey. Her face lights up when she says their names, they are clearly the centre of her universe. i weep for those boys two, losing their mammy so young.
Young Master B will be 10 next month. when i went for my 6 week postnatal check i had a routinr smear test done, thank the Gods i did. I had cervical cancer which the pregnancy hormones had accelerated the growth of. I'd only had the test a few years earlier so we knew roughly how long it might have been around. funnily enough i'd had some problems when i was carrying him, he wouldn't go head down and stayed very high up in my body, his head was under my ribs which was excruciating. i'd had spotting etc too and had actually had to stay in hospital for the last month until he finally turned and i went into labournow i wonder if my body knew that my cervix was weakened and so kept it free from pressure until delivery? Who knows. However, as i said, my smear test brought back abnormal cell results. I went to the colposcopy clinic where they can laser off the cancerous cells only to be told, lying on a bed with my knees around my ears and a laser in a VERY personal place that it was too bad for them to attempt to fix and that i'd need surgery. I went into the hospital when Youmg Master B was 4 monthe and had some of my cervix removed and my nether regions generally prodded and investigated. Thank the gods for general anasthetic and complete amnesia eh? They'd caught all the cells early enough and i only had a very low dose chemo, and completely recovered, thank the heavens. I did have some times when i thought about my kids, what would happen if i didn't make it, how long i would have with them etc. I know the chances of recovery are very high if it's caught quick enough but you never know. Young Master B's dad left me 3 weeks after my surgery for an 18 yr old, declaring that he couldn't cope with seeing me suffer -???!!! like him going off with a kid is soooo going to help stop my suffering! - more likely didn't want to be left with my kids! Anyway, i'm here to tell the tale and out the other side and i'm thankful for that.
The Jade situation has touched a nerve i think, i've found myself weeping for her on a number of occasions. i wanted to ask if anyone does pray, to whoever, would they please include this poor girl and her family in their prayers please?

On a lighter note, We've had a PARTY!!! Yep, little Miss was 8 on the 8th of feb, her daddy was MUCH older than that on the 9th, - weren't you Shrek! Ha Ha, i know you've been checking out my blog so i thought i'd let everyone in blogland know that you were 47!! - so we had a birthday party and what a wonderful party it was. Once again my beautiful daughter K excelled herself. She did all the preparations for me, food, house decorated inside and out, balloons, masks, hats, cake, the whole lot. it would've been a disaster without her. The party girl had a wonderful time, we had almost twenty people in my little house and it was great. Daddy helped out with the financial side of things too which made it possible to be abigger affair than if i'd been funding it alone. She chose a Hannah Montanah sofa bed thing, it's a blow up couch with material covers that opens up into a bed for sleepovers - it sure comes in handy in this house, sleepover central no less!- even when we don't have guests herself can sometimes be found stretched out on there, she has to check that it's comfy for her guests i'm told. I do sometimes wonder how such an old soul lives in that 8yr old body, ah well.
Thankyou Leanne and Wendy for worrying, i'm on the mend now, i think that they give you steroids 'cos they taste sooo bad that you want to recover asap so you don't have to take more. I don't believe i've tasted ANYTHING fouler that those in my whole life. I've got some major catching up with you all to do, i'll get there eventually. Today is the first day i've had the energy to even type so with a bit of luck i'll be back on commenting form, i've really missed some of your posts, i see them come up and it makes me smile, thankyou all for that. I look forward to catching up with you all really soon, with that i'm away to bed.......