Here's hoping, 2009.........

I don't usually 'do' new year resolutions - it's like (potentially) setting yourself up to fail before the months out, which doesn't bode well for the year, in my case anyway - so i've made a few promises or list of aims of things that i want to achieve - or stop! - this year.

Since i've been disabled i 've found myself on a number of occasions making plans to do something or go somewhere only for this to be prevented by my back being bad on that day. It's so infuriating! The thing is that often there's no warning, one day i'm up and pottering about, albeit slowly, then the next Bam! back to bed for you madam. I've lost count of the number of plans that have gone out of the window due to me being unable to get out of bed, Grr. The kids're so good about it, they understand about mammys back, it's been nearly 5 years now so it's all the two youngest have ever known really, but of course sometimes we do get tears of disappointment.

As i've said before it took me a long time to adjust to this new lifestyle, i was always ready for the off, camping, festivals, visiting friends, going to the beach, walking the dogs, we did it all. It's only this last year that i've really been brave enough to try some of these thngs again, with the help of good friends i've been camping, to a festival, days out, all in the last year. Now that i've actually attempted these thing with success the world's my oyster! - well, the U.K. at any rate! It took a change of mindset, kind of a reverse way of thinking really, once i'd mNged that it was a lot wasier. Instead of focusing on the negative bad stuff i've realised that if i look at what i CAN do instead of what i can't -yeah, DOH! really! - it makes life much more enjoyable. HOW did it take me nearly FIVE years to see what was in front of my face??? In honour of this epiphany i'm ready to take the next step, forward planning. in no particular order here's my list of hopes and aspirations for 2009......

1) Get out of the house more regularly, even if it's only to drive to the coast and sit reading my book for a while...
2) start to take better care of myself. I used to always do my nails, wear makeup, generally look after my physical appearance more.
3)Start baking again.
4)Enjoy cooking again, as opposed to just making a meal.
5)Go to Glastonbury this year, the place not the festival, too commercial these days.
6)Visit somewhere i've never been before.
7)Go camping.
8)Learn a craft, either knitting or crochet.
9)Lose some of the weight i've gained caused by my inactivity.
10)Stop being uptight about my home not being as tidy or organised as i would like it to be.
11)Have a clear out! Those amongst you who pop by frequently will know that this is an ongoing battle for me but a girl can hope eh?...
12)Just be more positive about life, that sounds easier than it is!
13)Do more stuff with the kids, not just stories at bedtime and videos in bed when mam's ill, get them out more and do a project together, something different than the usual stuff we all do every day.
14)Try and spend more quality time with the kids individually, one on one is sometimes difficult to achieve here in the madhouse.
15)Decorate at least some of the house, i need to change my surroundings to help uplift my new found enthusiasm for life.
16)Spend more time with my family, part of the getting out more, my family live further south than me.
17)Be a better friend. I don't think i give my friends enough attention, when i'm feeling down i tend to isolate myself, becoming incommunicado, which is pretty selfish behaviour.
18)Learn to be more accepting of my situation, stop beating myself up for the plans that go awry, focus on the good things we can do.

That's as far as i've got for now. hopefully i'll add more as they come to me.

I just wanted to say that recently i've found some lovely ladies on blogger who i've found inspiring and one lady i already admired has gone even higher in my estimation after finding more out about her situation.

Aimee over at cage free family, what can i say. this lady has taken the courage of her convictions, sold up or given away everything they own and have gone on the road with her husband and two kids. i've recently discovered that she has fibromyalgia (i hope i've spelt thar right), a terrible illness that causes chronic pain and extreme exhaustion. This lady is amazing and i feel honoured to have met her.

Leanne at Somerset seasons, this lady has renewed my interest in poetry, something i thought had be killed off by A'level english literature many years ago. Reading her posts shows me our home through her eyes and helped me start seeing in colour again.

The gentle FaerieMama over at Creating my Own Nirvana. Anastasia, this ladys 16 yr old daughter, was originally from russia and her lovely maa travelled to Siberia to collect her fro the orphanage there. Hers is a tale of laughter and tears and immense love and courage. I was touched by this littlefamily from the first post i read.

Jackie over at mothering nature. she lost her husband last year and stiil manages to be the best Mam a kid could wish for. people like her make most of our petty problems seem just that, petty. Her courage is astounding.

There are so many who seem to manage everything with aplomb, i'd've been tearing my hair out and/or chewing my nailsdown to the quick if i faced half the things they do! i love visiting you all and always try to leave you a comment in thanks for sharing your day with me.

So, there you have it, my aims, hopes and dreams for 2009, a bit late i know but anyone who knows me would tell you i'm habitually late for everything, no matter how hard i try to be otherwise.

I just wanted to end this post by saying thankyou to everyone out there on blogger. You have no idea how much finding you all has inspired me to take a look at the world again. I look forward to catching up on all of you and i love it when you leave me posts, letting me know what you think. It makes me happy to see that their are ordinary nice people in this world, no matter where, who live like i do, trying to lead a decent life, stepping lightly as we go. You mean more to me than you know......


karisma said…
A wonderful list of goals Sarah! You know as soon as you start feeling better about yourself the rest will fall beautifully into place! I also had bad back problems for years, broke my tail bone birthing dd3 (did not even know it happened till six weeks later when I still could not sit on my bum!) then with the two last pregnancies I put on so much weight it strained the bottom half of my spine so of course I suffered a lot.

I lost lots of weight and did special exercise and walla I could function again. I must admit I have let it all slip lately and am getting a bit of pain again but coping okay.

Another theory is to go and get some healing done on your etheric body. Its amazing how that can follow through to the earthly one! Just a thought! Heal those holes in the aura and shine like a star!
sarah p said…
This is so great :-) I love your list.

I know it's hard living with chronic illness or disability - the disappointments, frustrations, and guilt. Not to mention the pain!

But it's not about what you do but the love you bring. Love for your family, and for yourself too.

I have a feeling this is going to be a great year for you :-)
Leanne said…
good morning sarah! I dont often get around other blogs (i know i should!) but just wanted to wish you well with your list!

I believe that we can all overcome so much if we just focus on the positive things in life, we all have inner strength thats there to be tapped into when we need it.Ive had my share of problems, the last ten years9on and off) havent been easy, but I absolutely refuse to let things get me down (well not for long anyway!)I always try to find something good about every single day. I still have problems now that am trying so hard to resolve (lol) and I WILL get there! I think the key is not letting things make you feel bitter.

i am glad you enjoy my blog, and that my love of poetry inspires you. the world is full of colour Srah, you just have to look. :-)

Leanne x x
Anne said…
Knitting is great. My new year's resolution was to knit socks. I got 2 rows done and there it sat. I will try and complete them this year (LOL) if little Loopity Lou lets me. He is not a big sleeper.

I hope your back doesn't give you to much grief so you can do the things on your list. I lived with someone with chronic back pain. It was no fun for them.

I hope it is not too rude to add this in answer to the question you left on my blog - a root is Australian slang for sex.
Pixiedust said…
Thanks for popping by my blog and leaving such a lovely comment, it seems we have a lot in common. I have a long list of aims too for 2009, im finding it difficult to break old habits and make new ones, but Rome wasn't built in a day. I look forward to reading many more of your inspiring posts. Blssings Pixiedust. xxxx
Charli said…
Hey there girl.

Your resolutions look a lot like my own. Stuff I struggle with every day, because of being sick. It is hard to get out in the world when you feel like crap.

And then you feel guilty for not going. Or lazy for not doing.

And it sucks.

I feel your pain. I hope these resolutions work for you!
Julia Guthrie said…
That's a very inspiring list, & I found myself nodding along to many of them! (the first one sounds like heaven to me!:))
I will send lots of positive vibes your way for 2009...& I look forward to chatting more with you!

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