Saturday, 31 January 2009

i read a beautiful post by Wendy over at Hedge and Hearth about our Crone years. It really made me stop and think about where i'm at in my life. In some ways i'm not going to be there for a while, my youngest babe will be 8 next week so i've a good few 'Mother' years ahead of me yet in that respect, however at the other end of the scale my oldest babe will be 23 in march so i've been doing this job for a while now! I used to think that these terms were literal, you're a mother until your babes are grown, whilst you can still bear children you couldn't become crone. So how does that work now? I 've not reached menopause yet but i can no longer bear children, so does that make me Crone? Confusing eh? When i first started along this path i thought everything was clear cut in definable chunks (how little did i know then?) Now i can see that there as many pathways as people to walk them and nothing is written in stone. I don't believe in a dividing line any longer, all the edges are blurred, like an oil pattern in water, beautiful but always changinng. Nothing is ever fixed or solid. So how do i see these things now? Hmm....

I for one used to dread the thought of my crone years, old age was something to be feared. Now i'm not so sure. I can see the wisdom of many years being useful, keeping the stories for the younger ones to learn, finding that our skin is dryer, our hair loses it's colour and the medal of the crone years, grey hair sets in. For so many years this was something to hide at all costs, age was something to disguise as much and for as long as possible too.

So why is that the case? Why should we hide the wisdom that the Crone years brings us? We'll have raised our children, set them straight and out into the world their own lives to live. Should we then hide our shrivlled faces and our tired bones? Are we something to be ashamed of, our useful lives done?

No, this will be, finally, the time to think of us. All our duties will be done, the future, for the first time ours to own. For so long our lives on others revolved, our husband, children ,making our houses a home. We'll finally sit and read if we like, make plans that we won't need others to approve. This will be OUR time, we can focus that time on the things that WE want to do, throw caution to the wind and be finally free. Our lives are full of wisdom and love, we have so much to give, years of knowledge to share, a lifetime of experience to pass on. It's up to us to make our lives how we want them to be, go out and be proud and finally do what we WANT too, and at long last, not what we NEED! xXx

13 comments:

sarah said...

I am looking so much forward to my crone time. I feel like I was actually born a little old lady(although I am deeply in love with being a Mother right now) and that those years will be my time to really shine. I will be able to wear embroidered cardigans, long silver hair and mad earrings, put out lace antimacassars, and bake endless batches of cookies, and no one will snicker at me!

Actually, I do all those things now, its just that people snicker.

;-)

Many blessings.

FaerieMama said...

Even when I was a little girl I looked forward to those years. I just wish there were a better word than crone! I like WiseWoman better or even AncientOne..lol. Crone makes me think of the Russian BabaYaga or something...haha!

Wendý said...

*smiles* I don't think any one thing defines our Crone years. Like you, I used to think it was when you you came out the other side of Menopause. This wasn't true for me though, as I underwent what's classed as surgical menopause 18 months ago, however they inserted hormones to stop it, until about 6 months ago when I made a decision to let my body do what it was supposed to do, rather than what a male doctor thought I should be doing, I still had no symptoms so while I am going through menopause it still didn't make me a Crone..
I think embracing the Crone is about accepting ourselves - this being our strengths and weaknesses, our achievements and our failures and loving ourselves because of it. For me it is about lessons learned, wisdom, and patience and the ability to pass these things on with honesty, integrity and love and with a sense of self that can only come with age.. It is I believe a very personal time for each woman, and I believe each of us will instinctively know when it is our time.. Over the last wee while I have started to feel that Motherhood melds gently into the Crone.. that we do not just wake up and ta da we are there.. At 48, my own children and 26 and 27 and I am a grandmother and yet I find myself again raising two young children - I am slowly seeing that when this stage is over I will have learnt so much more and have more to offer others because of it.
In years to come, when my hair has turned grey and the wind is whipping it about my face and I stand with arms out stretched, twirling around under a beautiful full moon, I will know the Goddess has taught me well and I will be blessed to be the woman and the teacher that we all will become in our Crone years, for the journey doesn't stop when we are old for a new responsibility will be ours.
Brightest Blessings
Wendy

karisma said...

Well I am no crone! My nana always told us that we are only as old as we think we are. So therefore live life to the fullest and enjoy yourself, no matter how old you may be.

Anne said...

I agree with Karisma.
But Im only 33 I have all that to look forward too..:)

Bohemian Single Mom said...

This is a beautiful post and something I've also been thinking a lot about lately.
Now that I'm in my 40's, I get scared that the best years of my life are over. What a drag that would be, since I haven't really accomplished anything yet! - lol!

So thank you, thank you for writing this. I feel so tuned in to how you're feeling. The crone years are coming, but are still far enough away, right?
(((hugs)))

Bohemian Single Mom said...

(((hippymummy)))~ hugs & thanks for your comment...my mom has actually been dead for 10 yrs. (and I'm still arguing with her!!)
* the inner bitch comes out when one is going without cigarrettes...(almost!)

peace!

Bohemian Single Mom said...

Hey mama! No need to apologize AT ALL!!!
I know exactly what you mean....I LOVE SMOKING!!! And it's all I think about until I give in and have one!

Thanks so much for your comments!
(hugs)

Rowan said...

Mother and Crone blend into one really, you never stop being a mother I've discovered! It's just that the problems and worries change and you get the extra joys of grandchildren. Don't be afraid of the Crone years though, I'm enjoying mine immensely and learning and doing new things all the time. You'll discover that inside you are still a young woman - the Maiden too is still with you. My official age is 62 but my real inside age is still 30 something.

Leanne said...

hippymummy, just stopping by to make sure you are ok? you havent posted for 2 weeks ? hoping all is ok with you and your family

blessings, leanne x

Wendý said...

Hi Sarah, I have missed reading your posts over the last couple of weeks, hope your doing ok, also Im not sure if you would like to participate or not but I just tagged you and your blog in the Nightstand Tag. Go here to check it out if you are interested: http://hedgetohearth.blogspot.com/2009/02/i-have-been-night-stand-tagged.html

Traveller said...

Those photos are of Skye :)

Tea with Willow said...

Hi there Hippymummy ... just checking in to see if you're ok after your chest infection? .. haven't seen you around for a while, so hope things are alright with you.

Willow xx