Happy Hippy Madhouse.....

It seems to me that the times when i have the most to say are the times when i can't get near to the blinking 'pute to do it! We've got J's new girlfriend coming to stay this w/end so we're up the wall with making up beds etc. He's sulking 'cos i've said that she can't sleep in his room but there's no way that i'm going to let that happen, he's 16 but she's only 15. Her mam is letting her travel across the country alone on the train, i was a nervous wreck when J did it but i don't think i could let my young daughter do it, why is that? Why do we feel that our girls need more protecting than our boys? By 'we' here i'm refering to we as a society as oppossed to we just the people here. Am i wrong here? Should i let her stay in his room? He's allowed to stay in her room there so maybe i'm being old fashioned - a term thrown at me regularly by my teens? Just because i'm a liberal parent and allow my kids to exp

I'm going down to my mams this weekend. Usually it's for family occasions etc but this time it's not. It would've been - should've infact - but as i've said many times, untill people are sick of hearing it more than likely! - life is what happens to you whilst you're busy making other plans (John Lennon, Beautiful boy). In fact this song is very apt as it's the song i played ay my sons funeral. He would be 18 0n sunday 23rd, hence the trip down to my parents, he's memorial stone is there. I don't go there all the time, i do know that he's not lay under some cold stone in a little corner of a church but this year i feel like i should make more of a recognition than i usually do. Stupid maybe? I don't know. This time of year always makes me feel down anyway, before John died even, i've had s.a.d.s for years but as these two dates creep round i can feel myself hiding away. It's almost like a retreat, i start to go down in the weeks l

So, it's sunday again, did i get my act together? Did i 'eck! I was so tired that i did something i haven't done since well, who knows when.I had a lie in. Till nearly midday! L got up with R and sat through cars and bratz with her and left me abed! How kind is my son? wonderful! My youngest little man was still abed with me- asleep! That's my boy! We went to bed early, full of good intentions (on my part anyway), R was flat out on the chair so L said he'd carry her up for me, off to bed we went. Ahh, lovely and tucked up, some film on - that fab i can't even remember what it was -when up came L with the girl. He crawled over the bed to put her next to me, laid her down, B put his arm over her at which point she punched him in the eye. Whoops! That wasn't going to help my early night plans one little bit. As you can imagine the B siren went off, followed by R's 'cos he pushed her. She didn't want him to touch her, he wanted to cuddle up and so on

It's saturday - again -! and i'm no further on with this whole de cluttering lark. It's shocking how much time i'm spending on here really, i love flitting from page to page, it feels like i'm with friends even though i'm alone somehow. I keep telling myself that i'll feel much better when i've got rid of most of the c**p but to be honest it's so overwhelming that i don't know where to start.No matter how organised i promise myselk i'm going to be it ends up me thinking 'aww, i remember when he/she wore/played with/ was bought for/by and then i've lost, it only takes the one thing. I really need someone who's ruthless to bully me into getting rid of things or, even better maybe, chucking the whole lot out while i'm elsewhere. Ho hum, i'm going to really try this week and get some of it done at least. **sigh** Our quandry with regards to the whole h.s. thing is no closer to resolution. R has taken it upon herself to keep as

Do you ever think that someones stood somewhere just off camera who's got a different script to the one you're following and who's laughing at your confusion? I kind of had that feeling today. I plucked up the courage to speak to R's dad abut homeschooling her. I presented a pretty convincing case and to my surprise he said it was a good idea, i was more than intelligent enough to do it - you could've knocked me down with a feather at this point!! my memory has been knocked to hell by the medication i have to take to allow me to function and get through the day- and that he would support me 100%! Brilliant !! When i'd come round and could speak coherently again (2 strong sweet cups of tea and the smelling salts helped tremendously!) we chatted for a little while briefly going over what our priorities would be with regards to her education, which methods we would use and how long we'd give it to make sure that it really was the best way forward for our daught

I've finally taken my courage in both hands and used withcraft How Blessed am i? Originally uploaded by hippymummy17467 To upload a pic of 5 of my kids, Lee, Jay, Nell, Brandon and Rowanne. Anyone who knows me irl would tell you what an amazing achievement this is! For too long i've avoided the whole computer thing like the plague, but no more! Hee Hee! The whole learning thing seems much more do-able now we've got the computer to help. I'm performing a bit of an experiment this week, R has a cough and B is quite congested, they're not desperatly ill but i though that this would give me the opportunity to see if we could actually manage home ed? I'm not sure how it'll go, part of me thinks that at 9 and 7 they might be too old to change to a completely different learning technique but my biggest fear is that i wont be able to teach them all they'll need to know in order for them to get decent jobs and lifestyle when they're older. How will i feel if

For the longest time my kids pestered the life out of me to get a computer. I said on more occasions than i'd like to count that we didn't need one and i couldn't afford one anyway. Around Yule aol did an offer that if we signed up for 18 months then we got a free laptop, so relented and off we went, onto that amazing journey that is the .www. I have to say i was absolutely WRONG!!! I LOVE it!!! I'm a single parent and have been disabled for the last 4 years, also i live quite a distance from my family. This means that i don't get out as much as i used too, sometimes having periods when i can't even get out of bed. Prior to my disability we were hardly ever at home, we live in the countryside in a tiny little village and to make it even better we're only a couple of miles from the coast. We used to have great fun, the world was our oyster. After i became ill all of this stopped, it's only this year that i've had the courage to try things again, i thi

You know what, i'm such a hoarder! I swear i have stuff in my house that i haven't used in 10 years or more! Why do i do this? I go through the kids wardrobes and see things that'll never go anywhere near them ever again, i think to myself 'charity shop' then get distracted and end up putting them away again. It gets to the point where i think the kids have loads of clothes when in reality they have 3 pairs of trousers that fit them and the rest is rubbish! I've thought about this a lot and i think that it stems from my childhood, my parents were not well off, only my dad worked and he had 6 kids to feed. We didn't have holidays when i was small, we did have lots of days out which were great, we all piled into the car and off we'd set bursting with excitement! The beach! Water! Fun! Sand butties(sandwiches)! What more could a kid ask for? We got so excited! We'd be asking if we were "nearly there yet?" before we'd even get out of town!

Another weekend, gone before i blinked! We had a lovely time on friday, i took Nell n Rowanne to a friends halloween party with Jean and Heather. R went as a 'dead ballerina' and Nlooked lovely too. She was wearing a purple pixie dress,black leggings, orange and black stripy socks and heavy walking boots, plus my beautiful long black velvet dress coat. The fact that she wore that made me sit up and notice that she has grown so much in the past few months, on the other hand it also made me realise just how fat i am now. Before i damaged my spine i was quite slim - through a lot of hard work and exercise! I'd slimmed down from 238lbs to under 126lbs - but gradually the weight has ceept back on, not all of it but enough to make me uncomfortable. Obviously exercise presents something of a challenge now, my mobility is impaired severely and there's no way that i'm up for any distance walking which does frustrate me as i used to walk for miles with the kids and dogs. We