Will i let them down?....

I've finally taken my courage in both hands and used withcraft

How Blessed am i?
Originally uploaded by hippymummy17467

To upload a pic of 5 of my kids, Lee, Jay, Nell, Brandon and Rowanne. Anyone who knows me irl would tell you what an amazing achievement this is! For too long i've avoided the whole computer thing like the plague, but no more! Hee Hee!

The whole learning thing seems much more do-able now we've got the computer to help. I'm performing a bit of an experiment this week, R has a cough and B is quite congested, they're not desperatly ill but i though that this would give me the opportunity to see if we could actually manage home ed? I'm not sure how it'll go, part of me thinks that at 9 and 7 they might be too old to change to a completely different learning technique but my biggest fear is that i wont be able to teach them all they'll need to know in order for them to get decent jobs and lifestyle when they're older. How will i feel if i let them down? How will THEY feel if i let them down? This is such a major decision, i'm not sure if a week is long enough to see if it can work out. How did all you do it? Is it easier if they've been HE from day one? Has anyone taken their kids out of school later on? I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed to be honest, i'm worried that to take the out of school would hinder them in their later lives? As you can probably see i keep going round and round in circles, tying myself up in knots and not getting any closer to a definate decision. How do you know if the kids will be better off? They may well be happier at home but will the education that i can give them set them up for life in the real world when they are out there alone competing for work in what could still be a severe economic climate? I know i know, they've a long way to go yet before it comes to that yet, but still, what to do.

I don't think that i'm as worried about my kids ability to adapt to a change of direction, more my ability to help them reach their full potential. I'm not even thinking about what their fathers will have to say about it, i'll cross that bridge when i come to it, the kids welfare comes before their somewhat uninformed opinions. They don't see them coming out of school looking sad sometimes or not wanting to go to school, Bs dad is NOT a morning person, neither is B, but while he stays in bed until lunchtime he expects B to be up with the lark. Even before he was born B was a nightowl, round about the time that i'd be thinking about bed was the time that my little toe wriggler would start to play drums with my ribcage! It didn't matter what time i took B up to bed, from being a baby he'd get most active in the evening. He would happily go up to bed as a toddler but he'd lie awake singing to himself for such a long time, telling his ted stories or making them up for himself. He's just a kid who doesn't drop off to sleep quickly, and most certainly doesn't get up easily, whether he's had 12 hours sleep or just 2. Judging by his apparent lack of morning loving hormones, exactly like his daddy, i'd say being a nightowl is sometimes genetic! When a man only goes for jobs that start in the evening or afternoon then you know that mornings are a real problem!

Now R is the other way around, she often falls asleep on me or L, in front of the fire or in fact wherever she is she'll just drop off as long as someone is holding her or she's close to us, but if she goes up to bed she'll fuss for hours, she just doesn't like to sleep alone, she's a good little sleeper and is quite an early bird. Often the day starts off badly with a grumpy tired B and a bouncy R, her giddiness winds up B and he gets tetchy which then of course sets her off declaring that she's done nothing wrong and it's all his fault. I think that maybe easing into the day slower would help them to be a bit more even tempered as there wouldn't be the need to hurry him up so much and she could faff to her hearts content with her hair with no worries of lateness because of it.

These seem like good reasons to implement change but I would never forgive myself if i made the wrong choices now that will hinder them in years to come. If they don't seem to be progressing what to do then? Has anyone ever taken their kids out of school only to put them back in at a later date? Have anyones kids wanted to go back to school of their own accord, or maybe not wanted to leave? I feel like i'm going round in circles, which of course i am. I was wondering how you mams out there who've been where i'm stood now managed to reach a decision? Was it the right one? Should i keep my options open for a while yet? I would really appreciate any advice you could give to me here? I'm off to prepare dinner and beat myself up a bit more, sigh.......


sarah p said…
I don't know if I can be much help because I have always homeschooled my daughter. But even I had to make the choice - and still feel like I am making that choice on a daily basis.

Perhaps you would be reassured if you looked up some of the statistics on homeschoolers at university and in the workforce. They are unfailingly positive. But I also think success in the job sphere is not the only important thing in life - infact it is low on my list of priorities as a hs teacher. A happy child who is not always fighting negative forces but who can spend all her energy on learning, living, and getting to know her true self - that's what's important to me. She may grow up to be a beachcomber (although I doubt it) but I'd rather she was a beachcomber secure in her authentic soul than a depressed and disconnected millionaire.

You don't actually need to teach them everything. You just need to teach them how to learn. They'll do the rest for themselves. They really will. Its quite amazing to watch.

Sometimes we have to make a leap of faith. May I encourage you to do so? (Take a deep breath ... I for one will hold your hand ...) You can always go back. But I don't think you will. :-)

Btw, gorgeous kids! I hope they recover from their illness soon.
karisma said…
Trust in yourself! You do not need to teach them, they will learn themselves. We are even more alike than you think! Ha ha! I pulled my boys out of school at the same age your little ones are now. They were in Year 1 and Year3 at the time. I could tell you so much now about how things worked and how it turned out but you know what? Way back then when I was having all the same thoughts you are having now! I wrote it down! My feelings have since changed so much. I have seen my kids come full circle and I am not worried at all. Kids are like sponges, they absorb everything! If they enjoy what they are learning they do better, if they are not interested, they don't listen! Hmmmm sounds a lot like me! The main thing is letting go of what society feels your kids need to know. Realistically, how much do you remember from school? I went to a private school, my parents paid for it, what a waste, and I am relearning lots of things with my kids.

Anywho! I shall email you those writings so you can see what I had to say way back when! Its so amazing how we change our attitude as time goes by.

Hopefully by reading my story you can go into it feeling a bit more secure than I was. And have a more relaxed approach to start with.
karisma said…
PS: Whats your email address??? LOL

You can send it here.....

Shrekkie Grinch said…
I support you fully with this. I think it's the best thing to do for our kids. Anyway I can help I will.

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