Harmonida, hormone attacks, trains and *****mobile phones!!!!!
We finally got to Jeans, piled in abandoning hats coats and shoes in the process. (It's so cold wet and windy here right now that i was toying with the idea of socks for everyone, including me!) The kids quickly settled into doing some crafts that they'd requested for this visit, at least R and Heather (Jeans lass) did. B has been very unsettled recently which is so sad to see. His best friend through school and at home has been Iain ever since we moved here, Iain's two years older than B so after the summer hols he went up to high school which has left B behind.. At first they seemed to cope well but of course Iain has made new friends, which is totally natural, thus causing B to feel a little left out. Also i think that now B doesn't have Iain to support him he is having a hard time at school too. B has always been such a happy pleasant boy with his head in the clouds and a smile on his face , sadly that's no longer the case, he's becoming quite volatile, emotional and even on occasion aggresive which is completely out of character for him. He growls almost if you ask him to do something and he doesn't want to, gets so angry and red in the face even when no one has said anything to him. Yesterday i said "Brandon could i have a word /are you feeling ok?", nothing aggresive there but he immediately growled, burst into tears and yelled "Right, if you feel like that i'll go to bed then!!???" and off he stamped. What??? I tried to speak to him when he'd calmed down but he refused to discuss the matter and i felt that if i'd pushed it he'd've just got more and more upset. I'm at a loss. Of all my kids this is sooo out of character for him, he was by far the most placid of them all.
Sooo, back on track. Whilst H and R were busy doing some girly craft thing that invlved lots of glitter, stamps and anything sparkly he had picked up an old harmonica that had belonged to Jeans dad and just started to play it! I was actually in the other room when it started and i thought either Jean or H were playing it as he's never played one one in his life, i asked Jean when she'd learned to play? She came in chuckling to herself as she said that it was B who was playing it, apparently my face was a picture! That was a lovely thing and guess what he's going to be getting for his next present? It was lovely to see his smile and sense of achievement, it breaks my heart to see him unhappy. It's amazing how a change of scenery and self confidence can change someones whole demeanor in such a short time. Usually if we go to Jeans for a sleepover it's during the holidays so we don't have to be up and ready the next day, this means that B has missed out on a number of visits, although he's never said that he wanted to do it, he's usually said that he wasn't bthered 'cos he was with his daddy instead. However he has requested the last two overnight visits that he's had there. Again, Jean is such a gentle soul and does take time to speak to him instead of focusing all her attention on the girlies. All in all it was a very lovely visit.
We had to leave earlier today as R had a party invite that we needed to get ready for. She completely blew me away with what she chose to wear, a skirt and blouse and strappy(ish) sandals. The mode du jour recently has been skinny jeans and dark tops- in order to look as 'goth' possible. So imagine my shock when she picked a creme blouse and light coloured skirt, it was freezing and blowing a gale! However, i was not going to argue with her, i'd told her about the weather etc and let her go with her own choices even if i don't agree, it's not the end f the world is it.
Off we popped, dropped her @ the party where she confidently skipped in even though she didn't know most of the kids and hasn't really seen Esme for over a year, how they grow so quickly, last year she wouldn't've let go of my skirt much less allowed me to go home and collect her at the end. I have to admit that i was partly glad BUT a little hurt too that she didn't need me there, it's that growing up thing thats starting to kick in!!!Eeek!!
While R was at the party i phoned J only to discover that he hadn't taken his charger so his phone was flat- marvellous!- the knock on effect of that being that we couldn't contact him to find out if he was ok, had made his connection or whatever. I was having a gentle breakdown to say the least. Kayleigh and Rob went to pick him up from the station at 8.15pm but of course there was no way to contact him as time ticked slowly on and there was no sign of him. We'd done the usual, rang Amy's mam to check that he'd caught the train, checked that the 2nd train was running late -which it was - but we had no way of actually speaking to him to reassure ourselves that he was ok. An hour later - by which time i'd aged 15yrs - he sheepishly walked out of the station. My emotions varied between wanting to hug him for being safe and wanting to murder him for scaring me so much! I really don't know how we coped before mobile phones were invented, did our parents just feel generally safer about our welfare or did the worry of us prematurely age them? AND (this was my argument) What's the use of me giving in and getting him a flipping phone if he promptly leaves his charger behind and his phone goes flat??? It's not that i want to stop him having fun, up to a sensible limit, and i'm not trying to control his life, if that were the case then they'd all be wrapped in cotton wool and safely with me!Lol, but i do feel that it's not too much to ask to be kept informed of his well being etc. I know we have to let them make their own choices and mistakes as they go along but is it unfair to ask them to show some common courtesy and let us know that they're ok? Anyone have any opinions on this subject?
I'm off to the chemist shop now to buy a hairdye to cover all the extra greys that developed over the weekend! Aaagh!...........